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Acid
24. YELLOW PAGES
This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel Factors like an acceleration of the print 'fade rate' and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages could even reach 10% this year -- much higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years.

23. CLASSIFIED ADS
The Internet has made so m any things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them.

22. MOVIE RENTAL STORES
While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City. Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already.

21. DIAL-UP INTERNET ACCESS
Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access.

20. PHONE LANDLINES
According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had landlines, one in eight only received calls on their cells.

19. CHESAPEAKE BAY BLUE CRABS
Maryland's icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay. Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame.

18. VCRs
For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well.

17. ASH TREES
In the late 1990s, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia. In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the Midwest, and continue to spread. They've killed more than 30 million ash trees in south-eastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana. More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk.

16. HAM RADIO
Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Internet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement.

15. THE SWIMMING HOLE
Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. '20/20' reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they'll sue. And that's exactly what happened in Seattle. The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park. As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post 'Keep out!' signs.

14. ANSWERING MACHINES
The increasing disappearance of answering machines is directly tied to No 20 our list -- the decline of landlines. According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has been particularly bad in New York; since 2000, landline usage has dropped 55%. It's logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional landlines, that there will be fewer answering machines.

13. CAMERAS THAT USE FILM
It doesn't require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America. Just look to companies like Nikon, the professional's choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market -- only 3% of its sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment.

12. INCANDESCENT BULBS
Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (o r, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustainable-energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12 years.

11. STAND-ALONE BOWLING ALLEYS
Bowling Balls. US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf. Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos.

10. THE MILKMAN
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S., they are certainly a dying breed.

9. HAND-WRITTEN LETTERS
In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day. Two million each second. By November of 2007, an estimated 3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world's population had access to cell phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite hand-written letter?

8. WILD HORSES
It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States. In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population had decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten western states, with half of them residing in Nevada. The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.

7. PERSONAL CHECKS
According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments - for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, on a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers' recurring bill payments (down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003).

6. DRIVE-IN THEATERS
During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005. Only one reopened in 2005 and five reopened in 2006, so there isn't much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones.

5. MUMPS & MEASLES
Despite what's been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United States. In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine, approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded.

4. HONEY BEES
Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee. Very scary. 'Colony Collapse Disorder,' or CCD, has spread throughout the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers -- and along with it, their livelihood.

3. NEWS MAGAZINES AND TV NEWS
While the TV evening newscasts haven't gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that.

2. ANALOG TV
According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For the remaining 15% - or 13 million individuals -- who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is in the air. If you are one of these people you'll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital.

1. THE FAMILY FARM
Since the 1930s, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census hasn't yet been published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are small Family Farms.

The Who
- Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
- The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.
- The dot over the letter 'i' is called a 'tittle'.
- A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up down continuously from the bottom of glass to the top.
- 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
- 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
- The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red Eyes. He was albino.
- On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong Parents, daily.
- Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
- Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a Few ounces will kill a small-sized dog.
- Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
- Most lipstick contains fish scales.
- Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
- Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
- Upper- and lower-case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the Upper case' were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
- Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
- Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
- There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
- The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before.
- There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: Orange and silver.
- Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
- A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
- The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.
- If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four Pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
- By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.
- The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
- The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
- Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples.
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
- The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
- Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
- Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

AMAZING COINCIDENCES

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1. A computer error gave two women in America called Patricia the same social security number. When the two women were brought together in an office to rectify the blunder they discovered that they had both been born with the names Patricia Ann Campbell. Both of their fathers were called Robert Campbell. Their birthdays were on 13th March 1941. They had both married military men in the year 1959 (within eleven days of each other). They each had two children aged 19 and 21. They both had an interest in oil painting. Both had studied cosmetics. Both had worked as book-keepers.

2. In 1893, Henry Ziegland ended a relationship with his girlfriend. Tragically, his girlfriend took the news very badly, became distraught and took her own life. Her distressed brother blamed his sister's death upon Henry, he went round to Henry's house, saw him out in the garden and tried to shoot him. Luckily, the bullet only grazed Henry's face and embedded itself in a nearby tree. In 1913, twenty years after this incident, Henry decided to use dynamite to uproot a tree in his garden. The explosion propelled the embedded bullet from the tree straight into Henry Ziegland's head - killing him immediately.

3. On December 5th 1660, a ship sank in the straights of Dover - the only survivor was noted to be Hugh Williams. On 5th December 1767, another ship sank in the same waters - 127 lost their lives, the only survivor was noted to be Hugh Williams. On 8th August 1820, a picnic boat capsized on the Thames - there was one survivor - Hugh Williams. On 10th July 1940, a British trawler was destroyed by a German mine - only two men survived, one man and his nephew - they were both called Hugh Williams.

4. Mr McDonald was a farmer who lived in Canada - nothing extra-ordinary in that - until you learn that his postcode contained the letter sequence EIEIO.

5. In 1996, Paris police set out to investigate a late night, high speed car crash, both drivers had been killed instantly. Investigations revealed that the deceased were in fact man and wife. Police initially suspected some kind of murder or suicide pact but it became apparent that the pair had been separated for several months - neither could have known that the other would have been out driving that night - it was just a terrible coincidence.

6. Michael Dick had been travelling around the UK with his family to track down his daughter, Lisa - who he had lost contact with ten years earlier. After a long fruitless search, he approached the Suffolk Free Press, who agreed to help him by putting an appeal in their newspaper. Fortunately, his long lost daughter saw the appeal and the pair were reunited. The odd thing was, his daughter had been right behind him when the free paper took the photograph - shown in the photograph above. What are the chances of that!

7. A fifteen year old pupil at Argoed High School in North Wales was to sit his GCSE examinations in 1990. His name was James Bond - his examination paper reference was 007.

8. In 1965, at the age of four, Roger Lausier was swimming off a beach in Salem - he got into difficulties and was saved from drowning by a woman called Alice Blaise. In 1974, on the same beach, Roger was out on a raft when he pulled a drowning man from the water - amazingly, the man he saved was Alice Blaise's husband.

9. British cavalry officer Major Summerford was fighting in the fields of Flanders in the last year of WW1, a flash of lightning knocked him off his horse and paralysed him from his waist down. He moved to Vancouver, Canada, six years later, whilst out fishing, Major Summerfield was struck by lightning again and the right side of his body became paralysed. After two years of recovery, it was a summer's day and he was out in a local park, a summer storm blew up and Major Summerfield was struck by lightning again - permanently paralysing him. He died two years after this incident. However, four years after his death, his stone tomb was destroyed - it was struck by lightning!

10. Businessman Danie de Toit made a speech to an audience in South Africa - the topic of his speech was - watch out because death can strike you down at any time. At the end of his speech, he put a peppermint in his mouth, and choked to death on it!

HOW IS EMAIL LIKE A PENIS?

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- Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.
- Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
- It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
- In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
- Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop.
- Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
- It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction seriously; others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
- It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
- We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
- If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
- If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

The Who
Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural thing - you wouldn't understand, pal."

Keep your Australian, English, or U.S.A. identity strong. Fly your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise. Demand classes on English and U.S. culture in the Muslim school system.

Demand a local Country driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.

Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws. Insist that local Country law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of your life or soon be dead. Because it will never happen!! It will not happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq or any other country in the world except right here in the United States, Britain or Australia, Land of the naive, stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians!

FAMOUS OPINIONS

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"Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances". --Dr. Lee DeForest, Father of Radio and Grandfather of Television

"The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives". --Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom". --Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons". --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers". --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 [Oddly enough it was IBM that also saw little use for what became the Xerox copy machine many decades later and refused to fund its development]

"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year". --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip

"640K ought to be enough for anybody". --Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us". --Western Union internal memo, 1876

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C' the idea must be feasible". --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. [Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp]

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper". -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make". --Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs Fields' Cookies

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out". --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible". --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this". --Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3M Post-It Notepads

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy". --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau". --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value". --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France

"Everything that can be invented has been invented". --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required". -- Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself". --The head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon". --Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home". --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

English Sucks

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FOR THOSE WHO REED AND RIGHT

- We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox becomes oxen not oxes.
- One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
- You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
- If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
- If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
- If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
- Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
- We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
- Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
- Let's face! it! - English is a crazy language.
- There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted.
- But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
- Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
- If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
- In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
- Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
- Have noses that run and feet that smell?
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
- You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
- If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?

AUTHOR UNKNOWN or is it KNOTKNOWN?

WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER

The Who

Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


Up to no good...

The Who

Lovers of the English language will enjoy this. It is an example of why people learning English have so much trouble. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language.

This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP'. It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election. Why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. At other times this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses...

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special!

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about the word UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap this UP for now because my time is UP!

Oh... one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U-P!

Don't mess UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book... It's UP to you!  Now I think I'll shut UP.


Naked Eye

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Update

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I'm going to try to update more, we'll see how it goes...

Young Man Blues

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Aug. 25th, 2009

The Who
one hundred lbs of sugar since Aug 1.  I think they're slacking off, I only filled the feeders once today ( I  have 7 1-quart feeders out)

Veteran's Day

POW/MIA

Tonight, I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. While going past the produce, I noticed a huge baldheaded man with a goatee, scowling at me, while he was in line at the deli counter. I really didn't think much of it at the time, I just went on. A few minutes later, while I was checking out, I noticed him again, with the same scowl. This man was I'm guessing around 6'4", he had shoulders about 3 feet across, bodybuilder/football player type, probably in his mid-20s. After I checked out, when I was walking out of the store, he comes striding up to me, puts on a smile I didn't know he had in his repertoire, grabs my hand in his great big-ass mitt, and started shaking my hand furiously while thanking me for my service. I had forgotten it was Veterans day. I was wearing my Persian Gulf Veterans hat and my USS Wainwright jacket. Hell, I thought he was going to kick my ass, I was wondering what I had done to piss him off. It really surprised me. I said something like "you're welcome, but I was just doing my job." He thanked me again for all I did for him and his family, and I walked out of the store. I probably looked stunned, that's the first time something like that is ever happened to me, a complete stranger, singling me out.


Aftermath

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1 More B4 11 04

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BTW I'm Voting For Mccain / Palin

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Something is happening to...

The Who
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...my.hummingbirds.  Two weeks ago, I had more than 2 dozen.  Now, I'm lucky if I see 2 or 3 all day.  The only thing I can think of  is a cat getting them.  My closest  neighbors are half mile or  away.


Edit: The first  video is from late August '07.   The 2nd is May 10 '08.
 

Got the bill for the tetanus shot...

Boobies

 Three hundred and forty two dollars.



I should have went ahead and got lockjaw.



Stepped on a nail yesterday...

POW/MIA
... so I spent the afternoon in the emergency room waiting on a tetanus shot.  They finally called me back there, and the nurse insisted I soak my foot in Betadine for an hour (the blood pressure machine that had me hooked up to took my pressure every 10 minutes and it was going on the seventh time) before the doctor finally came in.  He looked at it, said "looks good"  and wrote me a prescription for antibiotics, told me not to bother filling it unless it started looking red and infected.  About 10 minutes later, a nurse comes in with the shot and several forms for me to sign.  So after almost 5 hours,  I was out of there.

Now, as 100% service-connected disabled veteran, I could have gone to the VA hospital for treatment, and got the shot for free.  However, it's a two-hour drive up there, I'm guessing a good 10 hours sitting there waiting to be seen, and the two hour drive back.  (One of the girls I know took her boyfriend up there when he was passing a kidney stone and they waited 10 hours, and I'm sure a kidney stone is more emergent than a tetanus shot.)  Now, I'm not knocking the VA hospital in any way.  The one I go to is state-of-the-art. They have their own in house MRIs, CT scanners, PET scanners, nuclear medicine, anything else you can think of when it comes to a modern hospital. I get first rate care in the clinics there.  I'm just saying it's worth it to me to spend five hours, and maybe $200, versus 12 to 14 hours plus the cost of gas and a couple meals.





edited for for clarity







 

Just joined...

POW/MIA
 Hummingbird season around here is late April to late September.  I"ve got a couple feeders up, but haven't seen any yet.  Just ruby-throated where I live, but last August I had 3 or 4 dozen at any given time.  I was filling (3) 1-quart feeders and (3) 1/2-quart feeders at least once a day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.  I went through 75lbs of sugar that month.  Almost a full time job.  I was also feeding several other kinds of birds, but a 90mph straight-line windstorm came through and destroyed most of my seed feeders (and ripped the roof off of my house & barn), so for the time being, I'm just going to feed hummers.